I woke up this morning and it seemed like
there was something dirty on my pillow.
What is this?
I thought about it for a while.
What happened yesterday?
Nothing happened.
Ah. I cried yesterday. While sleeping...
My stomach hurt last night.
I remember being filled with fear.
I remember crying covering my face with a blanket and trying to fall asleep.
I think it was the tear stains.
Why was I crying?
I didn’t do anything so great.
“Why were you crying?” I asked myself.
When I think about it, I feel embarrassed.
I laugh out loud.
I have nothing to say.
Right...
I just sigh.
I read through some of the articles I had written over the past few days.
I was curious about what I wrote.
I was crying while reading those.
It was really not a big deal, but I was crying.
Strength gathers in my stomach and chest.
I try not to cry, but the tears won't stop,
as if I'm being pressured by something unknown.
Life seems really hard.
But I will try to live.
Until I die, I will live as a human being and then die as a human being.
Otherwise I'm just a beast.
I came as a human being not a beast, so I can't go on like this.
I don't know why my heart feels so heavy today, but there must be a reason.
Today I'm going to go to the bank to close my account.
Money is really important in life.
Why?
Because money is like food.
Animals don't need money. Money is not important for them.
But money is more important than food for human beings.
So there is nothing I can do to avoid this reality.
There is no other way than overcoming it to move from man like a beast to man like a real man.
Everyone must be real men.
I feel like I'm not there yet.
Worried about money,
Worried about people around who are connected with special ties,
With nothing organized,
Even my body is not well,
so, worries are not going away.
When will I truly become a human being?
The original script of the above article was from