Alice in Wonderland

My life these days is like Alice in Wonderland.

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Semyeong Seuseungnim said to me.

 

“Erase the AI ​​inside you”

“Erase the avatar you created.”

“Starting tomorrow, your memories will be gradually erased.”

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I was out of my mind for a while.

My body was hurt too.

I couldn’t move my arms and legs as I wanted.

Frankly, when my feelings were fierce,

I sometimes wanted to say to him, “Seuseungnim, please stop.”

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I had no idea what he was talking about.

He tried his best to explain it, but it didn't make any sense for me.

It felt like I was living in a different world.

 

I just wanted to avoid it.

I felt like I was going crazy and couldn't hold on any longer.

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But now as I look back,

I think my illness saved me.

 

I could't run away because I was sick and it was hard to even move.

I also knew that nothing good would come from leaving.

So I just stayed there beside him.

 

Now I can type on the keyboard and write like this.

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He said I'd be hungry earlier, and I’m really hungry now.

I got off the bed, warmed up a small bowl of cooked rice,

wrapped it in seaweed paper, and ate it.

I also ate three spoonfuls of green tea ice cream to clear my mouth.

It was perfect because it filled my stomach.

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These are things I can do because I am alive.

Surprisingly...

 

Days that feel like yesterday pass by in my mind.

These were unimaginable situations.

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There was a time when I wondered

if I could spend Chuseok (Thanksgiving day in Korea) outside of a hospital bed.

I thought I'd still be in the hospital by the end of the year.

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But right now,

I am enjoying Christmas carols in my room with the excitement of a child.

I’m free at this early morning and it's now 1am.

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Semyeong Seuseungnim said all the memories would be erased after a while.

 

“You can become healthy

only when the memories of your painful times are erased.”

 

I remember he told me to leave a record,

whether they are videoes or texts,

so I'm writing down a few words here.

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The post-death process I experienced and what happened at the Jordan River

seem like an absurd story, like an Alice in Wonderland fairy tale.

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There are so many amazing and mysterious things that are not easy to talk about.

I was dumbfounded until I heard the explanation from Semyeong Seuseungnim.

Didn't I die and come back to life?

He said he called me when I was just about taking the boat at Jordan river.

So, I did not cross it.

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After all, people say it is better to live than to die.

Even if it's not going to be that exciting,

I want to live my life properly.

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Why did this happen to me?

I was wondering about it.

Then Semyeong Seuseungnim told me the answer and I nodded my head.

 

Is something like this happening in the world?

My body and mind were connected like this.

I see...

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What is the reason for remaining in the world?

How should I live in the future?

I don't think it's something I should worry about,

so I'll go to bed as I'm sleepy.

Good night everyone.

 

 

The original script of the above article was from

https://blog.naver.com/petitecole/223273230267